When the late Duke of Windsor, King Edward VIII, was asked to reflect on his childhood, he noted that his father, King George V, was concerned about his behavior and character. Sometimes, when Edward would do something wrong, his father would rebuke him, saying, “My dear boy, you must always remember who you are!” He was, after all, a royal prince destined to be king.
I am curious about who a woman I encountered last week is. She is not part of the royal family but certainly acted nobly. She is older than me, with gray hair and a quick smile. We were both at the same hotel in South Carolina when Tropical Storm Helene hit last week. I first saw her in the hotel lobby. It was swamped with people gathering for a meal after the power returned to the hotel. The lobby became an extension of the restaurant, and every seat in the restaurant and lobby area was filled. It was clear that the crowd was much larger than usual and that they were understaffed. I first met this older woman when she greeted us at our table in the lobby. She was accompanying our waitress, seemingly trying to help keep track of the abundance of orders and tables. Understandably, everything took longer than usual. After a while, the grey-haired woman returned to our table and served us food.
The following day, we saw her again. This time, she was behind the front desk. The elevators were not working, and nothing was going as usual. We could not help but overhear that the caterer for a wedding at the hotel later that day was missing. Immediately, the woman with the grey hair was called upon to find the caterer or figure out what to do.
Later, we saw her again in the elevator. She told us that she worked in HR for the hotel but was doing what she could to help. When a crisis arose, this woman remembered who she was, which moved her to be even more than her job title at the hotel.
My dear, you must always remember who you are.
I remember being surprised to learn who I was. Sometimes, we need someone else to help us see who we are becoming. In high school, I was asked to serve as a leader at our church. Someone saw something in me that I did not see in myself. Through the process of stepping into the role, I became more. In time, I grew into a leader. Over the years, I have continued to grow. For me, it has been a process of discovery. Over time, we all can change and grow. I love how Lewis Smedes expresses it: “My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed - and each of the five has been me.”
Psychologist David Benner teaches that our true identity is received. It is a gift of God. He writes, “Our true self - the self we are becoming in God - is something we receive from God.” At a certain point, you begin to realize that much of life is out of your control. Your work, achievements, body, health, relationships, and community will all change, often in ways you do not choose. If your identity is based on these things, it will be challenged. It would help if you had something else to define you. You need someone else to name you.
When you get right down to it, it does help to see yourself as a sheep. Like sheep, we need help to flourish. Sheep need a shepherd. Jesus says that he is the Good Shepherd. He knows his sheep and he calls them by name. He can tell you who you are. His sheep know his voice, and they follow him. Jesus also says when you follow him, you will find yourself. With Jesus, his sheep are secure. His commitment to his sheep is unprecedented. He will lay down his life for his sheep. You can count on him. (John 10)
My dear, you must always remember who you are.
And you know what, it’s a little like the woman I met at the hotel in South Carolina. Moving from an office with a title to an assistant to a waitress or a gopher for a receptionist and a wedding caterer does not seem like a good professional move. She was more than her job title. In the same way, Jesus says if you lose yourself, you’ll find yourself. It’s different than the usual way that we go about things.
People always tried to figure out who Jesus was, but he did not let others define him. Jesus always remembered who he was—God’s beloved son. He defined himself in relation to God. Likewise, being yourself involves knowing that you belong to God and are of immeasurable value to God.
It is important to remember who you are because it is easy to forget. We belong to other things as well. We can begin to act as if an affiliation with a particular group or a cause defines who we are. Before you know it, those things may affect how we see ourselves and others. The author of Hebrews reminds us to fix our eyes on Jesus. Paul reminds us not to conform to this world but to be transformed by renewing our minds. Paul tells us to put off the old self and put on the new self. He says these things because we will forget who we are. We will be influenced by our culture and the world around us, often in ways we do not even realize.
Moreover, storms will come. You will do or say the wrong thing. You will lose people you love, and your work and body will change. The world will look different over time and sometimes feel crazy, but none of these things change the core of who you are. You can continue to grow more and more into the person God created you to be. You can mature in faith, which is your confidence in God.
The Psalmist tells us: “Know that the Lord is God. It is he that made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture” (Ps 100)
You belong to God. Remember who you are.